somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Randomize
