is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
