is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize