Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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