We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
honey bunches of taint.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
