She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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