how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
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