I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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