make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
