: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize