How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you would pick up someone in the library
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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