I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
