Will you blow on my dice?
it hurts more in the daytime
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
