Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Panties = found
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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