"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize