So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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