My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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