how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
