I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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