I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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