I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
