It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
