He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
