Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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