if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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