why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
