all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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