Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
