All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
