As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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