Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
