Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
