I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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