is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
