I want to walk on stilts...naked
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
