i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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