The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
false alarm, still single
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
