Pappa wants mamma naked
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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