I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
