I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
In America we eat man semen.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I need a hoe opinion
go on
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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