Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone

(1-540): View more from Virginia

I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market

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(513): View more from Ohio

Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.

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(323): View more from California

I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..

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(512): View more from Texas

I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...

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