Already got asked if we're dating
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
