your parents love me but you hate me
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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