there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
