The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
