Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
