Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
No subtext here. People are naked.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
