I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
