Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
