I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize