Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
