i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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