you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
