You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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