I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Drake has all the answers
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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