Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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