I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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