Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
