No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
