Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
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