you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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