Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
