Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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