I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
