You're so nebulous sometimes
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
